My first time up Ainslie

Firstly before I start - apologies for the delay in this write-up, it has been a mad week/weekend and secondly congratulations to all the Valkyries who braved the cold on Sunday and posted some great times (and speeds!) at the ITT!!!

Ok, on with the blogging...

The beginning of last week was pretty terrible for training, both bike running and so I must admit to not being overly devastated that the planned Mt Ainslie CR's on Tuesday were cancelled late on Monday night as armageddon approached. Wednesday morning I felt similar relief, though I did manage to get out for a cold, (but fortunately sheltered from the wind) run around the lake on Wednesday night. I will be a very happy woman with not-so-sore hips as of 4 July when my half marathon running madness is over and I can concentrate on the bike.

Thursday morning was much nicer and as I had packed my bike in the car on Wednesday night, I had no excuses not to get up, get dressed (how cold was it going to be tearing down the hill? - assuming I could get up it in the first place..) and get out the door.

Driving to cycling in the wee hours of any given morning I always find myself peering at other motorists, checking to see if they too have their bike in or on the back of the car and are rugged up in their winter gear as we all make our way to our different meeting places. It's kind of a solidarity thing, as if we are all in on some big fantastic secret, why else would be be up 2 hours before sunrise in the freezing cold of another Canberra winter?

But I digress..

Arriving at the base of Mt Ainslie I was not thinking about the task ahead, I have always said 'I can't climb hills' 'I'm too big to ride up hills' and other such things and I didn't want to psych myself out. So I was just thinking about getting all my kit on, and going over to the others who were gathered in the dark.

And then we were off, Rob was riding with me and I was just concentrating on keeping a nice steady pace as the road started to wend it's way up, already Anna and Brad were about 50m in front and working their way up the road nicely. But I didn't let that worry me, I had never done this before, and I didn't even know how far we had to go, or really what the road was like. Today was not a day to worry about cadence or my speed and I had left my Garmin in the car anyway besides I knew my heart rate was up - I could feel it pounding in my chest.

I was about halfway up when I started apologising to Rob who was still patiently riding next to me, "I don't think I can do this", "I'm sorry for being so slow'", "I'm sorry for apologising so much" I said, as my legs just felt like lead, and what was worse, (I think) was that I had no real idea of how far I had to go, or what was ahead, or if it was easier or harder. I think it flattened out for a little bit and I was able to keep going, still apologising profusely for being so slow and despite my insistence that he take off and ride with the others, Rob still rode beside me. He kindly pointed out that plenty of Vikings don't make it to the top on their first time... I think I may have apologised for that too.

Then we hit the uber-steep bit just before the end, but I didn't know it was the end at that stage and about half-way up here was where it ended for me. I said to Rob that he should go on, and that I just couldn't keep riding. I unclipped and started walking up the rest of the way. As I neared the bend at the top (was it??) of the uber steep bit I noticed a yellow 50kmph sign tucked away in the scrub. I kept walking, and when I got around the bend I saw up ahead, a 40kmph sign, and then the road flattened out. I had almost made it, had I just gotten past the 50kmph sign and around the corner, I would have seen the end - damn! I kept walking to the top, meeting the others who had finished their recovery and were just starting their way down. I hopped back on my bike and followed them down the hill.

Time for round two.

This time I kept up with Anna and when I again reached the uber-steep part, I was going so slowly that when I stood up out of the saddle for a couple of seconds, my rear wheel slipped with the force of my pedalling - whoops - I really was going slow, but I was still going. I started negotiating with myself - 'if you just make it to the 50kmph sign, that's further than last time' and I passed the sign. 'okay, you're not dead yet - just make it to the 40kmph sign and you're there' and I passed the sign and I was there. I was so happy and proud and grateful to the guys who knew that I could make it, even when I didn't.

So I want to say thank you to Anna and the V-Mobile guys who were so patient with me and for not slapping me on the back of the helmet for all the apologising I was doing. I learnt a valuable lesson for future new rides, particularly hill climbs - I need to have either driven or walked them, or (if in a race) ridden them, so I know the milestones, and I can count them down. If I do this, I know I can make it without giving up on myself, even when my legs are screaming at me to stop. I was on such a high for the rest of Thursday, I never thought I could ride my bike up Mt Ainslie, after all, I'm way too heavy and I can't climb hills - or so I thought.

And so this coming Wednesday at 05:30am as I make my way to the base of Red Hill, and I see other cyclists heading into town, and all the motorists with their bikes on their cars at that crazy hour, I know why we are all there, because the feeling when you climb that hill for the first, or fifth or fiftieth time, is just so worth it.