The impact of negative comments

Unfortunately the joys of doing well in a race, or even riding well and getting stronger in general, are often marred by insensitive / negative comments from other riders. I don't think this is unique to female cyclists, although in my opinion I've received a higher proportion of negative comments from females v males.

I received a negative comment this morning about my race yesterday. Up until that point, I'd been feeling fantastic about it. I thought I'd had a great race yesterday and thought I'd done what was required of me: going with a few riders from another club when they broke away; working with my team as much as possible until riders from the other club blew the race apart; etc. There had been no discussion of race tactics beforehand, so I had understood the race was a "do what is required based on how the race unfolds" type of a race. But to cut a long story short, I was basically told this morning that I'd done it wrong. One statement brought me crashing down: post-race high turned into post-race come-down very dramatically. I won't go into what the statement was, as I don't think it's really relevant, but I'll tell you how it's made me feel: I don't want to ride my bike anymore. Yes, slightly (melo)dramatic as I love riding my bike but that's the powerful effect one negative comment can have. I'll get over it, and will keep riding my bike, but it made me realise that there are probably others out there that feel similar, and maybe it would be worth putting it out there how I was feeling and how I'm intending to deal with it.

I know I'm not the only person who takes negative comments way too seriously. I don't usually offend particularly easily, but do tend to get offended about comments about my actions. It's probably a typically female reaction though, guys would generally just ignore the comment / use it to fuel them for a cycling-related smack-down at a later date. So I've tried to think about the comment for what it is worth, consider whether or not it was valid and move on. But still, it's left a sour taste in my mouth just when I was getting back into the swing of riding / racing again.

It's also made me think about how I talk to other cyclists. Sometimes things need to be said, but there's a way of saying them (ie, think about how you would want to hear comments like that and then try and repeat them in the same manner). And I always celebrate others successes whatever they may be, as if you celebrate them, you can actually be part of those successes and piggy-back off them yourself.

And to steal a line from Lisa Jacobs: ride happy as life is too short to ride mad.